we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
