I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
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