I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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