Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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