a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize