I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
