You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
