I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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