shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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