So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
