i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
