I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
