I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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