You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
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I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
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Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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