I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize