Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
