New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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