Porn is love you can see.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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