you turned your livingroom into a bong?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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