At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
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There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
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All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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