lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize