From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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