forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize