He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Randomize
