I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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