this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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