since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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