Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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