yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
We're too hungover to prance.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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