Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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