If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
