I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
My first STD was from a foam party
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
