Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
