dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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