you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
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Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
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I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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