she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize