just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize