U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
