I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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