; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
