did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
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Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just want nice things and good sex
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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