and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants