are you so shy because you have an std?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.