Just cropdusted the office
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
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I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
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I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.