she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk