I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF