I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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