WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
You smell like stripper and shame
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
