Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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