I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize