is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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