everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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