when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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