Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome

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(856): View more from New Jersey

If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.

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(650): View more from California

I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.

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(720): View more from Colorado

What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to

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These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
Read it at the TFLN blog
(303): View more from Colorado

My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.

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(517): View more from Michigan

Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.

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(858): View more from California

Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"

(+44): View more from United Kingdom

On a side note apparently my brother is gay

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