ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.