Can i not drive my cunt home
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
