dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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