Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (347): A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me! http://tfl.nu/ye87
  Replies (16) Good night (1140) Bad night (1381)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine... http://tfl.nu/7ts7
  Replies (53) Good night (872) Bad night (3669)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (865): sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself. http://tfl.nu/7igx
  Replies (28) Good night (3002) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count? http://tfl.nu/wecp
  Replies (24) Good night (819) Bad night (3132)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea. http://tfl.nu/cell
  Replies (41) Good night (942) Bad night (6493)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home. http://tfl.nu/9xms
  Replies (13) Good night (5907) Bad night (1029)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake. http://tfl.nu/fip9
  Replies (8) Good night (4380) Bad night (1159)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend? http://tfl.nu/abvl
  Replies (28) Good night (8447) Bad night (1355)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo http://tfl.nu/o3pc
  Replies (11) Good night (2239) Bad night (1081)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them http://tfl.nu/vo2h
  Replies (13) Good night (2670) Bad night (756)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face. http://tfl.nu/i080
  Replies (8) Good night (639) Bad night (1343)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement. http://tfl.nu/cvtk
  Replies (7) Good night (1225) Bad night (684)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th http://tfl.nu/okx6
  Replies (4) Good night (1805) Bad night (531)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy. http://tfl.nu/nimg
  Replies (2) Good night (932) Bad night (380)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me. http://tfl.nu/dk1c
  Replies (5) Good night (532) Bad night (434)

Randomize