Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
