So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely