that's an acceptable place to lick
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
