If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize