went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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