Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
