watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
We just shotgunned beers for America
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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